About Recovery

Here’s the thing.

I had thought to put in this section a deep and detailed description and analysis of recovery from addiction. Especially using the Twelve Steps, especially for Sex Addiction.

In short order, I realized I couldn’t do that on so many levels.

Firstly, there are many better, and far more qualified opinions out there, backed by either good research, or solid personal experience.

I have neither.

Therefore, any attempt to lay out “What is Recovery”, even in just my own opinion, is likely hubris at best, damaging to someone else at worst. Plus, it’s unreliable at the best of times. Sometimes, things that I thought were absolute truth turned out to be… not so a few months later.

Having said that, if there’s one thing I know about recovery, the one common factor in all shapes and forms that I have seen, it is this: I can’t do it alone.

Everything else is up for debate, but if it’s just me, myself and I – my chances of staying sober are absolutely zero. How do I not do this alone? Traditional ways involve religion and God – if you have that personal relationship with God, good for you, don’t let me get in the way. (In the Rooms, especially to those who are uncomfortable with the idea of God, an entire chapter has been devoted to this topic here.)

Otherwise, to begin with, practically anyone will do.

Ideally, a learned, experienced and wise sponsor who has a similar background as the addict, perfect recovery himself, with a perfectly suited temperament and sponsorship style…. but in a pinch, another addict, struggling even more than I am, will do. As long as I can be completely honest with him. His main qualification (other than the obvious necessity that he is available) is that he is Not Me.

The old AA joke goes like this: Newbie expresses resistance to the idea of God to Old Timer. Old Timer responds, “Son, there’s only two things you need to know about God: One, there is a God. Two, it ain’t you.”

This actually strikes at the heart of everything in my life, and not merely a technique for working recovery. I find all my problems ultimately distil into this concept expressed in the joke. Fortunately, it also means that all the answers probably lie here too. More about this later.

In the meantime, I thought it best to keep a journal of sorts of how things are going for me, rather than try to write a complete thesis on recovery here and now. (Which I am not qualified for, not in the mood for, and will probably get it wrong anyway.)

This is mainly for my own record and reflections, but will hopefully be useful for readers here. This is also an open invitation to join in the discussion and comment.

A specific aim here is to be free to ask the unaskable questions, voice out the unthinkable opinions, and be honest about our disagreements with dogma. BEARING IN MIND none of this here is authoritative, well-grounded, or even necessarily correct. It’s just talking, and sounding out, and sometimes that alone is helpful enough. There is no desire to sway opinions, no axe to grind, no doctrine to push through.

Just join in and enjoy.

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started